my story...

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I thought it would be good idea to share my story and why I started this journey into art. I realise what a difference it can make in being vulnerable and sharing your experience with others. 

 

I have loved creating for as long as I can remember. As a dreamer I often find myself lost inside my mind, it’s a vibrant, strange, imaginative place, filled with emotion and strange curiosities. I can struggle to express myself through speaking and sometimes I find my thoughts and feelings too abstract to put into words. As a kid I was very shy and often found myself not knowing how to be myself around others. The times I felt truly myself were when I was making art, playing music, dancing and telling stories. 

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For a time, I wanted to be an artist, but growing up in this modern, western society you are somewhat programmed to believe that there is not much benefit in pursuing an artistic path. With such an emphasis of success being linked to money, I was often told 'there is no money in it' and why would you want to be a 'starving artist?'. Hearing this as young teenager made me start to believe I could only truly be happy going down a path that society would approve of. And I adopted a fear-based mindset of only seeking out paths that I felt safe in rather than taking risks and doing what I truly was passionate about.

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While finishing university during the pandemic craziness, my anxiety started getting triggered again and I was struggling. Little did I know this would be the start of an awakening and a journey into healing and a rediscovery of self. At this time, I felt so lost not knowing if my life was heading in the right direction and it wasn't just the war in my mind that was raging on, but also a war of our world. I was feeling disillusioned with the state of the world, it felt like we had lost touch with ourselves and nature, and everything felt more and more dystopian every day. Made me feel like I was going crazy as it seemed everyone was acting like it was normal. 

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In what I believe was an experience of divine intervention, this period coincided directly with my rediscovery of art. Which started with an experience I was doing as part of my healing, where I decided to let all my emotions out on paper. It was crazy, I had unlocked my creativity and passion again and the whole day I found myself drawing and painting sheets and sheets of paper. And amazingly enough I wasn’t being a perfectionist as I usually am, it was all free-flowing energy and damn it felt good. Just to feel that free in the midst of a time where I did not. It was a strange but exciting time and just as I rediscovered art, more and more synchronicities started occurring. I started learning more about healing and spirituality and people came into my life who understood what I was going through. It seemed like the universe was confirming that this was the right path for me. 

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Art for me has become a safe refuge, a place for me to be fully myself with no judgement. It has been a catalyst for healing and connecting to myself. And so, I would love to be able to help others through sharing my art and experiences with healing. 

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